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  • Writer's pictureAshley Gray

10 Things I think: If young metro don’t trust you...

So I know I have some trust issues. Like there are some things I could still benefit from lots of therapy on. Today I’m going to tell you about my trust issues… 

1. I don’t trust people who keep stuffed animals in the car or on their bed. There are some deep seated issues about innocence that you need professional help with.

2. Metro surely can’t trust people who cut pizza. Like, damn how can you possibly suck all the life out of something as vibrant as pizza? These are the friends that will never actually be happy for you when you come up. You: I got a new job Pizza cutter: You know you gonna get taxed harder now, right? Pizza cutters don’t make good friends. Thank me later.

3. Ppl who shower with the bar soap by just rubbing it on their skin are hella nasty. First, I don’t ever want to be the second user after you’ve rubbed your body down with the dove soap. Ever. Second, you ain’t really combating funk if you just rubbing soap. Nah. I refuse to believe you’re clean. REFUSE.

4. Ppl who just shower with loofas. First of all, how do you manage to wash all your 2,000 parts with that wirey plastic? It wasn’t made to combat funk. You have to use a towel. Just got to.

5. Metro don’t trust people who say they don’t need or don’t use deodorant for whatever reason. You smelling like a goat talking about the chemical make up of deodorant. God made that zirconium for you. Just for you. 

6. Metro Boomin don’t trust Ayesha Curry. I’m pretty sure she eats apples for fun. She ain’t to be trusted.

7. Metro and I agree that we don’t trust ppl who pretend to be deep. Go back to the kiddie pool. You all know the dog face snapchat option. it’s adorable, right? SO there’s this meme floating around with a  girl playing with the puppy filter and a guy says, “Sister, why do you say men are dogs but you keep trying to look like one.” Somebody shared this foolery on my timeline with the caption, “So Deep!” FOMTLWTBS

8. I don’t trust ppl that eat gristle. Plain and simple. The chicken didn’t live and die for you to pass up good meat for gristle.

9. Metro don’t trust people who make up allergies. I once dated a human who swore up and down that they had a mushroom allergy. one day said human took a bite of my food that had mushrooms without my permission and talked about how wonder it was. no reaction. So I… mixed some cream of mushroom into a dish one day. Let this human get good and full. Later I asked every question I wanted the answer to because if you lie about shrooms, I got nothing coming. Metro don’t trust fake allergies. 

10. On a serious note, trust is harder to come by than a pair of cool grey Jordan 4s. I’m not sure that we were ever taught how to establish or rebuild trust. I can only hope that one day I’ll know more about restoring it and giving it freely regardless of consequence. I know I’m not the only one with trust issues. Any who here’s my song of the day “In Common” By newly makeup free Alicia Keys. Stay tuned, as we unpack light skin privilege and lookism privilege. Love and hugs

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