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  • Writer's pictureAshley Gray

10 Things I think... It's 2024

So, you haven't heard from me in the this form since 2022. It's only right that I update you.

2023: Ghetto. 0/10.

Now that we're up to date on things... Here are a few things that have been on my mind.

  1. They kissed real hard in 90s movies. I imagine that was a very intense time to be of consenting age.

  2. Maybe our names do have more meaning than the boomers thought. Like, I've never met a fine Clarence. Or a young one for that matter. It's like you were born with AARP discounts and "Mac-Donals"coffee in hand. Imagine a fine Gertrude. Or a Pam without enough posterior to clear a table by turning side ways.

  3. Kim Burrell must have a little Black book of Christian ministerial masochists that keep booking her for mini concerts and long shame. She has literally never gone viral for any positive character attributes. She wouldn't have been doing all that on the westside of St. Louis. I can gare-own-tee you that.

  4. All the rom-coms I love have the same things in common... a break up/ job loss/threat of job loss that leads to them having to move to a small town or take an international trip. While in the small town, they learn how to make wine/ make cheese/ farm or rehab a house. They meet the sexiest local of any small town, anywhere. This person is so fine it barely makes any sense. They have abs. Always abs. They usually hate each each other initially. Some fateful moment happens when they realize they're the only two people in their small town with abs. They touch abs eventually in the ce'cred dance of consenting adults.

  5. I took a walk today 3.5 miles and came to the conclusion these couldn't be the same feet I used to heel toe with. Much less the feet that carried me in the most plastic of Charlotte Russe heels.

  6. You would think we'd be living modestly knowing ain't no social security for us. Eaux whale.

  7. I paid almost two dollars for a tomato. I've never been more ready for the meteor to come on.

  8. Speaking of meteors... The upcoming election already has me a bit anxious. It feels like a decision between two evils. And I don't really know anymore where the fine line is that used to distinguish the two. Biden keeps forgiving students loans in increments of $9.25. In order to get it, you had to strip down at the Pynk between March 23, 2015 through April 1, 2016. You also have to have full coverage on your car even if you no longer have the car. The last requirement is that you completely forget this man is sending your tax dollars to fund many things you don't believe in. But go off, Joe. I won't even give that orange person the dignity of description.

  9. So... what's gonna be your skillset at the compound? I just wanna be a food judge. "Lena, that rutabaga puree really needed the spice that your ancestors pillaged the world for." They're definitely gonna put me out if we gotta pretend to be "post racial".

10. On a serious note, life is changing faster than I can wrap my head around. While I sometimes give the illusion that I've got it all figured out, I'm still throwing noodles at the wall to see what sticks. The most recent third life crisis has been about what I wanna be when I grow up. I thought I knew. I've just got a few pieces figured out so far. Maybe that's the beauty of it. I'm also learning we operate under the arrogant assumption that everything lasts forever. I'm learning how to let go and let flow. Did I mention how uncomfortable I am? Maybe I'll blog about life on the next one. I just wanted us to laugh {cry} a little first.

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