Black folks don't collectively observe all holidays but we most certainly enjoy the collective day off. There are most often mixed feelings about the intentional distortion of real history and harm. It may not mean we want to spend it cooking but it surely don't hurt when the serving dishes filled with memories, nurture and love start rolling out. So here are a few thoughts from a recently promoted cook on Thanksgiving. I knew I was doing something when I got put on the mac n cheese duty (also read as haze). SO, my love, here are 10 things to keep in mind on this "National Black Folks Day Off"...
I'm sorry y'all but MACARONI N CHEESE DOESN'T REQUIRE EGG. I had to write that in caps because as a decendent of the 13 colony Blacks, I don't want a slice of macaroni. "If you can cut it into a perfect square, I won't be there!"
Proteins are important. Specifically, the moisture levels on proteins are of the utmost importance. I understand you eat well done everything, there are some of us who are trying to preserve the teeth we have left after that whole "wisdom tooth" thing. I believe if you invite folks over, you are cooking with them in mind. If they don't eat pork, you might wanna skip the bacon crumbles. You might hold back on a few of those pepper flakes because you told Lisa she could bring ALL the kids this year. I never understood inviting folks over just to tell them the way they eat is wrong.
Violence begets violence. If you go low, I reserve the right to deep sea dive, have lunch on the Titanic and sing with the mermaids. You think you went low, I'm playing in the earth's crust. Let's keep it cute when it comes to body changes/appearance, partnership, and basically anything else you don't want to come back at you 1,000 mph faster.
Everything needs to be done with a spirit of excellence. If you are on paperware duty, get the plates that don't require you to double them. Get quality napkins. Maybe get the red solo cups and a few clear ones for razzle dazzle. And lean in close baby- don't buy that cranberry sauce with the actual cranberries in it. I much prefer that jellied, tangy, oblong mass that comes out the can. I couldn't imagine having a bite of dressing and a whole cranberry disrespects my palate.
Speaking of partnership, your auntie's "friend" has been at 9 National Black Days Off and y'all still trying to force find her a husband. Maybe now is a good time to lay off. She and "friend" may be all they need.
Come with the food already heated. If dinner is at 4pm, we should be ready to eat by then. If you get there at 4 and the greens are as cold as ice, you didn't do your job. "If Johnny has five apples and he eats two..."
I believe that prayer is a good thing. I think it can only help. AND. This ain't the time for you to make the prayer into an altar call. We're hungry. The cousins have taken a walk outside and the greens already arrived cold. It's 4:45 now and even Jesus is sitting at table saying, "Enough already."
We know you've been eating clean. There's nothing clean here besides the kitchen. Everything has been dipped, slathered, and seasoned in abundance. Decide if you wanna eat or not, Sugar.
Don't let the holiday cheer confuse you when it comes to the spades table. I am a card shark. Undomesticated. Hunting for fresh blood. My partner's list is shorter than cousin Carlos' fade. This ain't the time to experiment or learn. Come already learned before you ask to play. I'll run a Boston on your sweetest uncle then bring him a warmed slice of pie. I'm playing like the rent depends on it and I live in DC- you already know what that means. Sit at your own risk.
On a serious note, this holiday is the first after a really hard loss. I'm going to have to be intentional about joy this year and so will my family and friends. If this holiday is a first after a loss, I'm holding you up. I only have one ask, make a plan for joy and don't bring any energy that causes harm. Take that walk outside if you must, I'll likely join you. And when you come back, hug someone a little tighter and longer. I'll think of Teresa at every turn that day. She always had to be sat down from trying to help- even after she was sick. Well, sister, we'll make room for you to join us however you decide to. You never missed an event, I don't anticipate you'll start now. Happy National Black Folks' Day Off.
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