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  • Writer's pictureAshley Gray

10 Things I think... Every Food Pic Doesn't Deserve an Upload

These quarantine streets have taught me a few things about y'all's cooking skills...

1. Y'all put shrimp in everything. I'm not sure if Costco had a bargain bag or what but y'all gone shrimp me to death. A burger never needs a shrimp topping.

2. It's clear that some folks live to eat while others eat to live. These meals have been as elaborate as risotto and lobster tails to opening a can of tuna and eating it with a fork.

3. Who would've thought fake bacon would be so popular?!? I mean I'm not surprised that a Black woman created carrot bacon and took the world by storm, but this ain't the kinda Black genius I'm used to. I'm used to a different kind of magic trick from Black women like making $20 turn into a week of meals for a family of four. Either way, carry on sis. Make that bacon- don't let it make you.

4. Any other time I have access to the rarest veggies, I pass them quickly in the store. I'm not sure why I want rutabaga now, but there's something about freedom and access here.

5. On any given day I go from not trusting uber eats to "oh yeah, Thai sounds good tonight!" Truthfully, I just need a break from cooking sometimes. Like my demands of myself in the kitchen are high. I've gotten to the point where I send things back to the kitchen if they're not perfect. And this is a thankless job.

6. I'm a part of these quarantine cuisine pop up groups and I can testify that all food is not created equal. In one group someone was eating white rice topped with ground beef and gravy. I'm not sure if you know this, but that's alpo. I know dog food when I see it. And that's what you give them when their stomach is messed up. Even dogs don't want that on a regular day.

7. Listen. I LOVE New Orleans. Like, seriously. I LOVE it. BUT. If one more of y'all aunties creates a dish with vegetables, light broth and three loose floating pink shrimp and calls it gumbo I may flip. Seriously... ma'am that's soup. I'm not sure of the origin of that soup, but it's soup.

8. Stop just stacking desserts for no reason. I saw a peach cobbler, pound cake aand cheesecake combo. This gout and diabetes (pronounce Dy-a-Beet-us or "the sugar"). Seriously, It's ok to just eat one.

9. I get that some cuisine is very regional, however, I am sick of food being gentrified. I'm from Sweet St. Louis where a local delicacy is the St. Paul sandwich. Well today, I saw a person with less melanin than me and my relatives make a gentrified version of it. They added fresh avocado slices and didn't season it at all. You can infer everything you need to know from the sentences above. Somethings are classics and somethings can evolve. My St. Paul ain't one of em. For real.

10. On a serious note, it's a blessing to see y'all getting creative in feeding your families. I know the struggle is real so if you need help cooking, please don't hesitate to reach out. I'm of the "each one, teach one" mindset on cooking. Besides, if the children are going to be our future and taught well to lead the way, some of y'all need help. Admitting that is the first step. Here are a few of my cook therapy pics for y'all.

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