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  • Writer's pictureAshley Gray

10 Things I think... My Least Favorite Songs Edition

1. “911″ Mary J Blidge (who I’ll address later) and Wyclef Jean… Wyclef knew good and ____ well that he was sharp most of the song. Just because you can yell somewhat in key doesn’t mean it sounds good. And Mary couldn’t wait to be able to yell on another track. “If this the kinda love that my momma use to warn me about…” She should’ve warned you that you can’t sing. She did you a disservice.  And then had the nerve to try one in falsetto. Go sitcho ___ down “feel my body getting cold.”

2. “Higher” by Rihanna. Y’all swear her vocals have improved… and I’ll agree to a certain extent… until she gets to the  hook of this song. I swear she had a pack of GPCs menthol and a tall can of Stag before recording this. She sings in the same key that she talks in. People love saying that, that’s the creativity of this track. BS. She fine, but she can’t sing. She’s fashionable, but she can’t sing. 

3. “S-E-X”  by Lyfe Jennings. Actually anything he sings, makes this list. But… this song in particular burns my bones. “Ay yo you… you see most cats would take advantage of you right now, but I ain’t gone do that. I’m gonna give you the game right. I’m gone give it to you because I would want somebody to give my daughter the game if she found her s-e-x.” Sir please shut the hell up. You go from talking about how attractive and curvaceous this baby is, all the while talking about the older men ogling over her. He got women issues sir. Work on them. Please.

4. “Love” Keyshia Cole… honestly is there anything more to say?

5. Anything by Mary J Blidge after 2007 and before 2016. I know she was celebrating sobriety and loving partnership, but between “no more drama”, the “dancery”, and mr, right… I’m done. Give me old Mary who was actually truing to keep up with her background dancers. Like you always knew she worked really hard to do the moves. I’m sure she was doing mental 8 counts to “Real Love”… I miss that. Get back to one and two, three, up four, kick five, down six, shake 7,8. Please.

6. Absolutely anything by Jaheim. “My Place” which is a Nelly song,  Jaheim says, “Sit yourself down and take a seat…” TH? Y’all don’t be looking up lyrics.

7. Butta Love by Next. Hated it! Stupid song and your momma probably loved it. 

8. Alicia Keys- A woman’s worth. Jeez man I hated this song. I’m sure I was supposed to find some deep meaning being a woman an all, but her voice irks my soul. The dramatic intro made you think it was gonna be good. three chords, overly airy singing and the same melody later… song sucks. And I’ll add pretty much every song except “I’m Ready” and “In Common.”

9. Allessia Cara “here”… girl take yo ___ home if you don’t want to be there. Those of us enjoying a quick table twerk or actually talking to ppl are annoyed by you. People like you irk my soul. I gotta climb your wall of “I don’t want to be here” just to try to convince you there are some worthwhile people in the room? Nah, I don’t chase ppl. (Unless you’re extra fine and intellectually stimulating- I might lace up my nikes for a cute/light jog in that case). But girl… GO HOME. You suck the fun out of bouncy houses. You take the fun out of listening to trap music. You take the fun out of petting small, cuddly animals at the petting zoo. You irk. 

10. I normally have a serious note, but this post has been serious

. I seriously dislike everything I wrote above. Like will change your station, skip a track and/or ride in silence instead of listening to this ish. 

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